"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want… He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:1, 3
He restores. Not "comforts," not "pities" — restores. Makes whole what was broken. And He does it "for his name's sake" — not because we've earned it. Because that's who He is.
To understand what God is restoring, you have to remember a simple thing: a person is made of three. Spirit, soul, and body. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. "A threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Eccl. 4:12). When all three are in balance, life moves forward. When one falls out — life stalls.
Today let's talk about what happens to a soul when it gets wounded, and why it's usually the soul that holds a person back.
The soul ties itself in knots
Scripture says we have ties in our lives. Some God designed. Others we make ourselves. Not all of them are for our good.
The first tie God designed is between a husband and a wife. "A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Notice the order: first untie from your parents, then tie yourself to your spouse. We've seen hundreds of marriages fall apart for exactly this reason — one of them never untied from mom and dad. Skip step one, and step two doesn't work.
The second tie is friendship. When David met Jonathan, "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul" (1 Sam. 18:1). The phrase is sharper than it sounds: knit together. A knot. Soul tied to soul. It usually starts as conversation, coffee, ordinary time together. And then — knot.
Knots aren't bad. God gives us family, friends, community through them. But here's where a second conversation begins. There are friends God gives you. And there are friends you find yourself. And there are people who befriend you because they need something from you.
My wife has an older brother. Until Alyona got married, he had an unbelievable number of friends. All of them stayed close for one reason: they needed access to her. The moment she got married — almost all of them disappeared. When people need something from you, they often build a relationship to get it. And from that, it's usually not them who suffer — it's us.
Why a soul can ache for years
When a friend walks away, when a marriage falls apart, when you move and leave behind a whole church — the knot stays. The relationship is physically over, but in the soul it's still tied. That's why you can't move forward. Why you can't build something new: another marriage, a new ministry, a fresh business.
Scripture says: "Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven" (Matt. 18:18). Until the knot is untied, the soul keeps aching.
There's another kind of tie — sin. Paul writes to the Corinthians:
"Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, 'The two will become one flesh.' … Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price." 1 Cor. 6:16–20
A sinful tie leaves the same knot. You don't get free of it by moving to another city or finding another partner. The knot stays in the soul.
Here's what matters: no pill, no doctor, no meditation will untie those knots. The Holy Spirit does. But He won't do it against our will. He's the One who unties — but we have to put our hands to the work.
Five steps to untie a knot
One. Acknowledge the knots are there
The first step, and the most uncomfortable. Sit down and look honestly: what relationships in my life still hurt? Who wounded me? Who did I wound? Which ties has God already cut, and which ones am I still holding onto?
Two. If you're the one at fault — ask forgiveness from the person you wronged
Not from a priest. From that person. This is the parable of the prodigal son: he didn't look for a spiritual director, didn't find a confessor. He got up from his pile of pigs and said, "I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you" (Luke 15:18).
A Catholic priest behind a curtain is easier — you don't see his eyes. Looking into the eyes of the person you actually wronged and saying "forgive me" is a different kind of confession. But it's the confession that unties the knot.
If the person isn't around anymore — no way to call, write, or drive over — then:
Three. Repent before God
"Lord, I sinned against You. Forgive me." Not a formality. Direct, personal, no intermediaries. "He who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him" (1 Cor. 6:17). A direct line is the way you say: I'm Yours, not my own. You bought me.
Four. Forgive the one who wronged you
The hardest step and the most important. If you don't forgive, the knot doesn't come undone. Not for them — for you.
"How many years of my life did that person steal," people say after a divorce or a betrayal. The pain is real. But the Lord speaks through the prophet Joel:
"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you." Joel 2:25
God can give back the stolen years. Joy, health, identity in Christ. But the first step is to forgive.
Five. Speak the break out loud
"In the name of Jesus Christ I untie every soulish, sinful, demonic tie in my life." Not because words are magic. Because what you've recognized in your spirit and confirmed with your voice is fastened in heaven.
God restores room by room
Let me tell you a story. A month ago my wife said, "we need to replace the faucet in the bathroom." The old one had started to leak. I figured — a faucet, half an hour, easy. Last week I finally got myself mentally ready. I cut through the drywall from behind, unscrewed the old hardware, put plugs on the pipes — so my wife could still turn the water on while I was working.
I'm installing the new faucet. A thought lands: "give it a pull and make sure it's seated." And then a second thought: "it's new, why bother?"
I go downstairs, turn the water on. I hear it flow. I come back up — and the faucet has popped off, and a river of living water is pouring across the second floor. I fly back down to shut off the main.
The carpet downstairs got soaked. We started thinking — we'll replace it. If we're replacing it in one room, it makes more sense to do the whole second floor. If we're doing the whole carpet, why not laminate instead. If laminate, we'll need new baseboards. If baseboards, the doors don't really match anymore…
I'm driving to church and I catch myself thinking: this all started with one faucet.
That's how God restores a soul. You come to Him to untie one knot — between you and your ex-spouse. Turns out you also need to ask your daughter for forgiveness. Turns out there's one more person you need to forgive. Turns out there's a shelf in the closet, and the things on it got wet, and they need to be thrown out.
It's not fast. It's not painless. But it's for good. Your eyes will be glad later. It will last longer.
The Holy Spirit is the only one who can
I'm talking about what I've walked through. There was a time when I was sure one particular friendship would go with me to the grave. When God made it so we had to part ways, I couldn't function for six months. The same questions on repeat: how? why? what for? Then I stepped back and saw — this was God. He pulled me out of the boat like Jonah, because there was no room in that boat.
Someone once told me, "everyone has turned away from me." I said, "thank God." If they hadn't turned away, you'd still be where God didn't want you.
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3
And:
"The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds." 2 Cor. 10:4
We have weapons. They don't work against people — they work against knots and strongholds. But we have to pick them up.
If you recognized yourself somewhere in this — don't close the page. Right now, where you're sitting, just say:
"Heavenly Father, thank You for redeeming me. I am Yours. Holy Spirit, break every ungodly tie in my life. I renounce every soulish, sinful tie. If anyone has hurt me, I choose to forgive and let them go. In the name of Jesus Christ I untie these knots today. Lord, heal my soul. Walk into every room of it. Do what You want."
Then let Him. That's exactly why He came.